Speed up and Slow down...at the same time

The last few months, and more intensely the last few weeks, have been a mixture of emotions for me. Many of you have shared these moments with me and listened as we go through the process of selling our home and buying another.

It is something that people do every day everywhere. For most, it is as simple as looking at a few photos and knowing "that one" is it. But not for Steve and I. I'm really not sure why except for the fact that we have spent most of our marriage counting every penny (Steve counting them as I spend them usually) and this change to a new house signifies to us in many ways that things have changed for us. In a positive way, but still changed. We may never purchase another house or we may be looking again in a few years. You never know.

When we bought this old house at the beginning of our marriage, I was moving the three kids and I from a two bedroom apartment. Steve had never been married so he didn't have a houseful of furniture and belongings. But somehow we merged the two together and started working to make this place a home we could raise the children in and be happy. Everything in the house was beige, with lovely hardwood floors covered up by carpet....brown shag carpet in some rooms even. The elderly couple that moved out east from here would likely not recognize it now. Steve's dad spent a lot of time helping us while they still lived in Booneville. I imagine we would still be trying to get some of those things completed on our own. Jim Baer could fix and build anything.

One by one the three little ones have grown up and gone to college and started homes of their own now. It's hard to believe how quickly the years passed. As I've said before, if these walls could talk they would have quite a story to tell. I'm thankful that I've taken a million photos over the years to keep the memory of this old house alive. Lots of laughter, tears and dreaming have taken place here...much of it right at the kitchen table. As I sit here tonight I think I can hear some of the very sounds that made our lives what they are today. I've baked a hundred batches of sugar cookies to be decorated in the kitchen for Christmas....all three have learned to play the piano and practiced for hours here in the den on the piano that I learned to play on. We've nursed colds and fevers, gone through three sets of braces and learning to wear contacts. The driveway should have worn tracks down its slope to the garage from hours of everything that had wheels flying down the driveway from bikes with training wheels and plastic cars in all shapes and sizes to the later years when they all learned to drive.

Yes, I know this posting is heavy reading but I have always found this a place for my thoughts and feelings. And today I am thinking that while I want the house deals to hurry and go through, I find myself wanting to put on the brakes and just stop. Stop and remember. Try to memorize the way it looks and feels and sounds and smells right here tonight. I know a home will be wherever we are. But, like an old pair of favorite shoes....some are just hard to throw away.