The Tale of An Old Dog

Koko when she was still all black and "puppy sized".
And below, a photo taken in October 2009.

It is the time for me to write a blog about Koko. I guess when you have had a dog around for 13 years, you just assume they will always be around. I'm not saying that she is definitely gone for good right now, but she has been gone for an entire day now and that is unheard of. She has really never been "out on her own" at all. Sometimes she would get off of her leash and run as fast as she could or escape from the backyard through the garage like she did today.

It's so funny, isn't it, how you replay those moments, seconds really, when things happen. Steve and I had been outside working in the yard. I went in and Koko was doing her dance of joy, eager to get outside. Only this time when I opened the back door, she was hesitant and moved slowly. She does that sometimes when she knows that we are not really going anywhere. As I walked back through the house I remembered I had opened the door to the backyard from the garage to let the air cool off the garage while Steve was working out there. I went out to close it to keep Koko in the backyard, but she had already found her way out. She was always quick about that!

She set about peeing on the grass out front and I told Steve "You KNOW she would have to do that out here where we are trying to get grass to grow!" We spotted some wasps and Steve started spraying them. I stepped over to the grassy area where Koko was, reached down and patted her and told her to stay with us. Then I spotted another wasp on Connie's car (which was parked at our house since she was having a garage sale). Steve came around the car and started spraying and killed the wasp.
This was very important since I'm extremely allergic to wasps!!

When the siege was over with the wasp, one of us (not sure who noticed first) asked where was Koko. It had been a total of only minutes since I had patted her. I ran around the neighbor's house to see her, as had happened once before, but she was nowhere to be seen.
Greg came out of the house to leave for Fayetteville and found us both frantically looking for Koko. He took his car and went one way and I went the other, with Steve looking in the wooded area near our home.

She was just simply gone. Vanished.
I just couldn't believe it.
The rest of the day we continued to circle the neighborhood in my car on Steve on his bike. Nothing.
I made posters with her photo and our number and taped them to stop signs and light poles. But no one called.
I called the Van Buren Police Dept and their Animal Warden came out to get a description of Koko and all. He was very kind (which is what we needed at that point) and said basically that we are dealing with a 91 year old woman who is deaf and has cataracts...who may even have dementia. He told us that dogs are like pack animals, always choosing to leave the pack when it is their time to go. I know that may be true, but it is so hard to believe that this dog who could still be so active was ready to die.

Steve and I had talked in recent months, as she was sleeping more and not even hearing him get up to leave in the mornings, that her time could be near. We were both pretty much prepared to have her just "go to sleep and not wake up." I thought we might come home from work some afternoon and find her curled up in the bed Steve had made for her on the patio to take her final blissful breath. She LOVED the new backyard with the privacy fence. I think she felt safe and that this was finally her domain. The covered patio provided shelter during the day from the sun or rain and she spent most of her days just sleeping. I would tell her most every morning when I let her outside for the day as I left for work that I was jealous of her getting to sleep and eat all day long. She would look at me with those "knowing eyes" and sometimes I think I'd see her just knod her head.

I woke up several times last night thinking I could hear her nails clicking on the tile as she would make her was around the house. She never forgot that she was due a little treat after every meal and after coming in from outside. Every time.
But it was not her.
I had put her bed on the front porch in case she passed by during the night, but when I got up this morning she was not in it.

That funny, quirky little black dog with the hair that shed constantly and the bark that could wake someone from a deep sleep is gone from our lives.
It's funny what our pets bring out in all of us. Different things, really. They can be funny and frustrating, smarter than we think and can clear out a room with gas that doesn't even wake them from their nap.

Koko was Mary Beth's birthday wish when she was about in the 5th grade. She cried happy tears when she saw her because all she had wanted was a puppy. Steve and I had picked her out at the Humane Society from a litter of siblings because she just immediately relaxed in his arms. She was a mutt, but one of the smartest dogs I've ever known. The easiest to housebreak for sure. When Mary Beth went off to college, Steve and I took over duties with Koko even through the sale of the house last fall, the move to the hotel for 6 weeks and the move to our new home.

And she was home here. She would sit out in the yard or even the corner of the patio and just stare out in the yard...just like a 91 year old woman might do.
Her black hair had given way to a lot of gray in the last year. I think this last year has brought out a lot of gray in mine as well.

She will be missed.

I have to think that someone picked her up, although if that were really true they would have likely returned her by now. The alternative is just too hard to digest.

It became apparent late last night that she might just not be finding her way home.

Or maybe she did.