New phrase for the day..."I Understand"

Someone in the mental health business much longer than myself and much wiser than me gave me a piece of advise last week while I was fussing (not the word that best describes what I was doing) about folks not showing up for their appointments. He said if I find myself spending too much time feeling angry and upset with people with mental health issues because they can't make it to their appointments for some reason or another, then I need to look at myself to see if maybe I need a day off just for my own self care.

At first I thought, well that was a silly statement...but then I realized how right he was. It had been days since I had taken time to work in my yard, cook a real meal or get a pedicure (and my feet were evidence of that!) I had been missing sleep over a period of days getting paperwork completed and rushing here and there between the summer program, doing intakes, seeing clients and making home visits. In between all of this I was trying to concentrate on Mary Beth's wedding and the kitchen renovations and losing weight....and the list goes on. Self care? What was that? When was the last time I had just sat. I mean really just SAT????

I realized he really was right that I had sat too many hours in the office waiting on folks to show up and instead of making use of that time, had allowed myself to stew and complain.

So I decided to make a statement that would be my signature statement whenever I felt like complaining to the clients about their lack of punctuality or showing up at all....I would just tell them that "I understand." I might think beyond that statement, but for now I will just tell them that and hope that I will eventually be able to calm myself and have more empathy and true understanding into the chaos of their lives that brings many of them to me in the first place. If all was well in their world, they would likely not be seeking services at all, so I need to "understand."

How simple the statement is but it may bring relief for them to know that I do.

We'll see how it goes.