Well, I tell you that many years ago, folks looking at my ability to choose a good running mate would think I would be unable to write a column like this. But I am. Those that know my history know that it took me three rounds to find Steve, so it is safe to say that sometimes it just takes some of us longer than others. I think I was just never looking for the right qualities. I have told him before that he is not the likely type that I would have dated in college...much too nice. My first husband was nice and lots of fun, but we had a tragic loss of a baby that threw us apart and we were just too young to ever pull it back together again. A bit like Humpty Dumpty. Then I met Bill and we were truly like oil and water, but we did have the three most beautiful, intelligent children ever born on the planet earth to show for that union.
After that I really never wanted to get married again. But then came Steve. Now I didn't plan to ever write a blog about this but an incident happened yesterday that really made me angry and so here I find myself venting....if I can't vent here then where do I go???
Steve is likely the kindest individual that you will ever meet. I have no doubt he is the calmest. My children can tell you they have never seen him angry. And that is true. If he is upset or something, then he gets quiet and has to think it over...and that is all. We make a nice mix for sure! He has been such an amazing father and husband. He is so fair, especially among the three of them. For example at Christmas, he has always kept a notebook listing to the penny what is being spent on every item to the penny. (he only does this at Christmas, folks!) If we are off a little for one of them, then we get the balance up for the others. In the end, if it means stuffing a few dollars in the stocking, you can bet we spend the exact dollar amount on each of them! He has always been that way. And I appreciate that fairness for them.
Steve has always worked hard and comes home. He doesn't go hunting or out with the guys. He does laundry,cleans the kitchen and vacuams. I don't know if it is because he was single until he was 38 or what, but I do my best to continue to make him think that all men do those things! We do most everything together...yardwork, housework, laundry, painting, grocery shopping, whatever.
Steve didn't go to college when many of us did. He says he was laid back in high school and didn't really have any desire to go. He was okay with just doing landscaping work or custodial work. He moved out to Arizona for a while with friends and had a Labrador named Gypsy. That was his girl. After we got married, he went back and got 2 years of college under his belt, but with 3 children and working full time, it was just too much. Then he was able to get a promotion to the service center and a good raise.
The point of all of this rambling today is really about the measure of a man, folks. And I think it comes down to his heart. Steve has a heart like no other. I have told my girls that when they find someone that "adores" them like how I feel "adored" by Steve then they will know they have found the right one. Honestly. When I walk through the door, it is relief from my day. He always wants a hug, always stops whatever he is doing to see how I am doing. He doesn't care if my hair is done or my makeup is good or if I gained or lost any weight today. He just adores me. And he adores our children too. Which makes me love him even more. So when people take advantage of his kindness as weakness, the bear in me just comes out. When someone that is supposed to be a leader, someone that is trained to know how to work with others as a supervisor talks to someone just because they can talk to them in a demeaning way, I resent the hell out of that. It is wrong. Just because someone gave you a position and a title does not make you God for a day. And they know that because people want to keep their job that nothing will be said. Steve would never say anything back to these people and it is taking everything in me not to as well. Of course I know them from being in the schools.
Some men gain their power from making those around them seem small. Only little men have to make others feel so little.
Others gain theirs from having their wives and family adore them...Steve, you've got me hooked forever!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment